Being a mom is tough. If you are a mom or would like to be one someday, I’m sure you’re already aware of the pressures women and moms are under. To steal a term from Tina Fey, there is a lot of “girl on girl crime” in the parental scene. “Girl on girl crime” can be defined as when a woman sabotages or makes assumptions about another woman based on superficial judgments. There is no way to tell a person’s personality or abilities by how their hair looks, weight, clothes, or make-up. But let’s face it, women are encouraged to be competitive with each other to the point of insanity. I think it causes a lot of unnecessary anxiety and misunderstandings.
I recently got stung when another mom commented on my make-up. Now I could be reading too much into it, but I feel the comment was meant to shame me.
Other Mom: “I don’t know how you possibly find the time to do make-up, I never wear it because I’m too busy being with my kids”
You see? I felt like there was an mean undercurrent to the message that I’m somehow neglecting my daughter because I take time every day to apply some make-up. I’ve learned not to give people like that a lot of my time, but comments like that can cut deep.
I would love to tell you that I had a witty retort for this woman, but I’ve learned to deal with people like that by smiling and changing the subject. It’s not worth my time to explain to them that I typically wake up extra early to do my make-up or if that doesn’t work out, I tend to make it a fun game with my daughter who happily sits on my lap and feels very grown up with her own make-up brush. I wish I could bottle up the giggles as I tickle her with brushes and take pictures of her looks of serious concentration when I ask her what colors are her favorite. It’s becoming a fun bonding time with her and I don’t think I would trade those moments for anything.